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Archive for December, 2009

Motherâ??s day is a special day when you shower all your love on your mom. It is the celebration of motherhood. Mother is the most special person in ones life. She influences your every step. She is the one who will always leave your favorite dish for you by saying that she does not like it any more! A Mother happily leaves everything small or big for her kids.

So it is the right time to do something for the sweet darling mom. Getting a perfect gift for mom is the best way to show her how much you love her! Perfect gift for motherâ??s day leaves behind so many joyous moments for the mom and you as well. Motherâ??s day gift needs to be bought after a lot of consideration. The decision depends upon the personal interests of your mom.

If your mom is fashionable and follows the latest trends then this is the right site for you as we have so many new ideas for such moms. Just read on and discover how many new things you can do on this Motherâ??s day. Sounds interesting? Then what are you waiting for just read on and order the best motherâ??s day gift!

Make up gifts

Yes! You had never thought of it! Well think about this now! Mom is so fashionable and loves to collect the latest products then why to miss this opportunity? Go for products like eyeliners, mascara, gaudy eye shadows or lipsticks kit by leading brands like Loreal, Revlon, Elizabeth Arden, Maybelline and Avon. You have many options from these brands as you can get blushers, skin care products, lip liners, foundations, concealers, hair care products or a gift hamper containing all these products! Who will be able to resist such a motherâ??s day gift?

Perfumes

You can never go wrong with perfumes because all women love alluring fragrances. Perfumes are an instant hit with all the women. If your mom is particular about perfumes then go for perfumes and sooth her senses. International brands like Versace, Lomani, Armani, John Varvatos Perfume, Escada, and Gucci offer so many luxurious and elegant fragrances. Choose the right fragrance for Mom and see a big beautiful smile on her face!

Hand bags:

Hand bags appeal every fashionable woman. Most of the women love to collect the huge cache of latest trendy bags. There are so many options in sizes, colors and material used in hand bags. If the mom is eco friendly then go for a jute bag. Jute is so fashionable and trendy these days. So many colors and designs are available in hand embroidery. You can always choose a bag decorated with some gem stones. These bags come in various sizes and shapes so you can easily choose the fashionable bag for the Mom. The leather bags are also appealing and these days you get many color variations in leather bags too. Choose the right handbag that will match her personality and please your mom!

Jewelry as a Mothers Day gift:

Jewelry is the all time hit with fashionable women so why not get jewelry to make the motherâ??s day special? In jewelry items you can go for personalized jewelry like rings and pendants. A pair of earrings in precious metals like gold, silver, platinum or pearls and diamonds, suit all the women, irrespective of age. So many pendants are designed especially for motherâ??s day. These can be engraved to make these personalized gifts. Motherâ??s rings, birthstone bracelets and sterling silver necklaces also make the perfect gifts. If the budget allows then diamonds will be the best selection. If you need a cheap gift amongst jewelry then go for beaded jewelry or hand made jewelry. It is the latest buzz word in the world of jewelry. So go ahead and delight her with the perfect gift for motherâ??s day.

For more options browse all the pages of our site to get detailed information on gift ideas for motherâ??s day.

Happy shopping and happy motherâ??s day!

One of the most challenging times of parenthood is finding the right child care for your little one. This is no easy task and puts many a parent in a stressed-out state. It can also be an extremely expensive endeavor should you go through an agency or paid service.

These days there are three main options for Child Care:

Stay-at-home Mom/DadThe most obvious is of course one parent staying at home and taking care of your child yourself. This is by far the most rewarding and arguably best option as most people would say that no one can truly substitute for a parent’s care. However, sadly nowadays, this option is becoming less and less viable for the average working family. Thus, we consider our next best options.

Hiring a Nanny / BabysitterHiring a Nanny to care for your child is a very popular choice these days. There are many advantages to hiring a nanny such as greater one-to-one care and having your child stay in an environment she is already familiar and comfortable with; your home.

When hiring a Nanny there are many things to consider: Should I hire locally or sponsor one from abroad? Should I hire a nanny to live-in or live-out? Sponsoring a Nanny from abroad usually means the Nanny is more likely to stay with you for the longer term and will typically work for a lower salary. However, hiring locally is often less hassle and allows you to meet the Nanny ahead of time and be sure she is the right one for your family. A live-in nanny will typically cost you less since her accommodation costs are taken into account in her salary though having someone living with your family is a very personal choice and certainly not for everyone.

DaycareAnother popular option is putting your child in the hands of child care professionals at a certified daycare center. The number of daycares in recent years has been growing rapidly, though not fast enough for most parents. The main advantage of a certified daycare center is that your child will be in an environment that is regulated and required to be of certain standards. Your child will also be with a number of other children where she can play and make friends.

An alternative to the traditional daycare center is a home daycare. A home daycare is a smaller daycare typically operated out of someone’s home, often by another mom or dad. Home daycares have some advantages over a daycare center in that they have a smaller number of children in a home-like atmosphere. This often allows children to have a better chance at bonding with each other as well as the child care provider.

Making the “right” choiceFinding the right child care for your child can be a daunting task. As with most things there is no right choice for everyone but there is a right choice for you and your child. Researching all of your options, speaking with other parents, knowing your child, and using your own parental intuition will assuredly aid you in your search for the best child care for your precious one.

Basics Of Parenting

            Today, the one and the only question that is in the minds of everybody is “where are the youth of this generation going?” as the lifestyle and values of the youth is bothering the society to say the least. Though the  problems created by the youth and the problems faced by them are innumerable, it is not the state of affairs of the youth alone that is causing anxiety. The baby on its way into this world, new born babies and the children in different stages of growth  also face and cause problems. While trying to find the root cause of the problem it is the parents who are blamed for it, most of the time.    Though they are not the sole cause, they have a major role to play.    Their success in parenting depends on the kind of parents they are, their environment, the support from the family, the possibility of getting trained for parent hood, the level of education, the nature of the child concerned etc. ,. The problems, mostly psychological, would vanish with proper  parenting.   In the early days, people mostly lived in joint families.   The experience and advice the young parents received from the elders, parents, aunts, grand parents, uncles, guided them in the process of parenting.   The children also had many people to support them, to allow them to vent their feelings and  to learn the probable ways of findings solutions to their problems.

True Story

            While talking to a group of adolescent girls shocking messages came to light.    Many of the adolescent girls were having illicit relationship with auto drivers with whom they were coming to school.    Deeper analysis brought out the fact that these girls were longing for love from their parents.     When an iota of love or something akin to it is shown by the auto driver, they easily fall a prey to the former’s devious designs; of course they suffer later when they find it difficult to extricate themselves from the driver’s clutches.     Only the parents can help these children.     One of the great, noble traits of parenthood is love  and that alone can cure many ills faced by the children and youth. It can help the girls to retrieve themselves1.

            In yet another instance, a 5 years old orphan boy in a care centre for the AIDS infected persons   stunned the onlookers by saying that if his father had had proper parenting, he would not have gone astray and ended with AIDS, infecting his mother too2. Even this small lad knows the importance of parenthood.    Everyone knows about parenting and follow the kind of parenting demonstrated by their parents or that which they have learnt through courses or training or advice given by psychologists or gurus.

Styles of Parenting:

            Just as there are different types of human beings, there are different types of styles of parents.     The parents’ style influences the level and kind of development of the child.     Whatever may be the style of parenting the essentials to be looked into are, “Express your love, make your child feel secure. Build their self-esteem. Stay flexible and recognize the time for change as your child grows. Communicate openly and honestly and be confident  in your own ability”3. When you talk to your child, you should be actually listening not just hearing.

            There are different types of parenting, such as “Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive4”.    Parents who are very clear about their role and give instructions with confidence can be considered as Authoritative.    The Reader’s Digest Great Dictionary of the English language shows that authoritative means commanding and self confident, while authoritarian implies, favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority5.   It is similar to dictatorship.

            Another variety of parenting is known as permissive.   These parents allow their children to follow their own path, mostly non-interfering.    It is similar to saying, “let the sleeping dogs lie” as they are.    These parents do not want to follow any strict rules or take up much responsibility in bringing up their children.    There is another mode of classifying the parents.    According to this classification, there are three types of parents, such as Consultant, Helicopter, Dull Sergeants6.

Three Types of Parents

           

CONSULTANT

 

HELICOPTER

 

DRILL SERGEANT

 

This Love and Logic parent provides guidance and consultant services for children

 

This parent hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live.

 

This parent commands and directs the lives of children.

1.

The Love and Logic parent provides messages of personal worth and strength

1.

provides messages of weakness and low personal worth

1.

provides messages of low personal worth and resistance

2.

The Love and Logic parent very seldom mentions responsibilities

2.

makes excuses for the child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities

2.

makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility.

3.

The Love and Logic parent demonstrates how to take care of self and be responsible

3.

“takes on” the responsibility of the child

3.

tells the child how he /she should handle responsibility

4.

The Love and Logic parent shares personal feelings about own performance and responsibilities

4.

protects the child from any possible negative feelings

4.

tells the child how he / she should feel

5.

The Love and Logic parent provides and helps child explore alternatives and then allows child to make his / her own decision

5.

makes decisions for the child

5.

provides absolutes : “This is the decision you should make”.

6.

The Love and Logic parent provides “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities

6.

provides no structure, but complaints, “After all I’ve done for you…”

6.

demands that jobs or responsibilities be done now

7.

The Love and Logic parent models doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it.

7.

whines and uses guilt : “When are you ever going to learn.    I always have to clean up after you. ”

7.

issues orders and threats: “You get that room cleaned up or else…”

8.

The Love and Logic parent often asks self, “Who owns the problem?” helps the child explore solutions to his / her problem

8.

whines and complains about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” much work and responsibility

8.

takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem

9.

The Love and Logic parent uses lots of actions, but very few words

9.

uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is not capable or responsible

9.

uses lots of harsh words, very few actions

10.

The Love and Logic parent allows child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher

10.

protects child from natural consequences, uses guilt as the teacher

10.

uses punishment; pain and humiliation can serve as the teacher.

Source: http://www. loveandlogic. com/pdfs/threetypes. pdf

One way to identify the kind of parents is by analyzing the kind of gifts they give to their children in order to make them do any specific activity.   Some parents have a survival mentality; they give their child “whatever” just to make them do the job. Some parents operate with a default mentality.     They give their child what is popular without considering whether it will be the most helpful. In actual practice the parent should be operating deliberately and purposefully, giving the child what is useful after carefully thinking through.     They are usually known as “intentional parents” 7.    Depending on what kind or type of parents they are, the goals, and gifts also change.     In the case of permissive parents, the guiding motive will be, “If I can just make it through the child – rearing years, I can get my life back”.    Their goal will be “jilting the kids out of the house”.   They follow the easiest method of doing whatever is easy to do.   Hence, they use bribes, threats and use TV as a baby sitter8.

            On the other hand, those “who want to give the child what will be best and most helpful for him”, will have the goal of preparing the child for life as a productive adult. They would spend quality time with the child, imparting ethical values to the child.   The gifts given by such parents would be, “religious books, enjoyable pastimes, academics, home skills and chances for socialization” 9.

            If a child is to be successful in life, the appropriate parental care is necessary.     But, of course, there are children who grow up into successful adults, in spite of defective parenting.    But such cases are very rare.    The society at present is facing problems of parenting especially in the case of single parent, divorced parents, simple and extended families. Most of the children brought up by single parent and unmarried mothers, find it difficult to cope with the pressures in the family and society.

Parenting Skills:

            With, hectic work schedule of the parents, the heavy load of learning coupled with  many distractions and the problems faced by the society, the children are looking for the support of their parents for a secure life.     It is ordinarily observed that parenting without proper foundation has always and indefinitely led to confusions in  child development.     What is essential is

Ø  Developing and clarifying clear communicative expectations.

Ø  Staying calm in the midst of turmoil

Ø  Encouraging positive consequences and consistency.

Ø  Being the role model to your child.

Ø  Effective praising. 10

           

To be a successful parent discipline is necessary.   At the same time, there should be consistency in whatever the parents are saying and doing, parents should have a preplanned, pre-developed strategy to teach proper behaviour to the child. That is, both the parents,or the single parent should make their expectations clear to the child. , Both of them can sail smoothly while bringing up their child.     They should be very specific and firm in teaching their children. Moreover, the parents must take into consideration the child’s age, ability, developmental status and the resources that are available for the family. 11   Once the expectations are clearly stated, it is necessary that both the parents should communicate it to the child, without contradictions.     In addition to these, there should be frequent family ‘get togethers’.   Instead of punishing the child for not abiding by the expectations, it will be better to have discussions to clear the child’s doubts and parents being role models.

            Ray Burke states that “Children can be sarcastic, defiant, rebellious and possibly violent, parents have to prepare themselves for times like these and learn to keep cool” 12.    Yet another way to increase or encourage desirable behavior is to use positive consequences.     What the parents should remember is to use the positive consequences that would work with the child.    While developing a child’s behavior the parents should remember “consistency”.     Consistency is the key to being a successful parent.     This gives the message to the child that “your parents are reliable and serious”.

            The most important aspect of successful parents is that the parents should be role model for their child 13. The parent should be a positive role model for their child to follow.     As Ray Burke say, “Praise is powerful…. Praise is nourishment.    It helps in the emotional development.   It helps in building up self-esteem, belief of personal satisfaction, feeling of security. ”14    The praise should be communicated to the child either verbally or through action.

Parenting Skills :

Ø  Discipline

Ø  Education

Ø  Finance

With the social changes,  the extended family that existed earlier, which played the vital role of a model, a shock absorber, a vent for relieving one’s feelings has become a thing of the past.    Hence, the parents of the modern era have to learn creative ways of bringing up their children.    It is found that the most important but controversial parenting skills is DISCIPLINE.    Whether the method is, redirection, time-outs, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, or sparking, the parents should embrace their role to train their children to become moral and respectable adults15. The second skill to be acquired by the parents is regarding education.   The parents should also be educating their children in moral values.    The child’s education should take into consideration certain important facts16:

v  Family’s financial status.

v  Quality of local public and private schools.

v  Level of parental education.

v  Personalities of parents and children.

v  Home schooling support and resources.

v  The involvement of the parents in the child’s education.

Besides education, one of the important parenting skills is the effective way of dealing with financial issues.     The demand for expenditure for rearing the child, medical, hygienic needs etc. are soaring high today.      Hence, a successful parent should know what is essential and what is not before deciding upon the expenditure of the limited resources.

Conclusion

            There is no doubt that children bring us much joy and much responsibility.    Most of the stress and worry of bringing them up can be reduced or removed with proper, careful planning.     The parents should plan when to have a child.    The working mother, if she is to stay at home, once the child is born, should plan earlier to save as much as possible and cut down the family expenditure.    Both the parents have to plan to set aside enough time to be with the child, not only when it is a baby, but till the child becomes an adult.

             The parents, need not be only the problematic, should avail of training in parenting skill as much as possible. First of all, both parents should have a congenial and frank communication between them.    Only then, once the child comes into the family, they will be able to communicate with the child easily.    Further the “ego”, the concept of “I” should be relegated to the background.     It is possible that the child becomes sick at times mildly, at times seriously.     Both the parents should take responsibility of looking after the child, not blaming each other as the cause of sickness.     The child rearing, though filled with difficulties, hurdles and events that test one’s tolerance, is undoubtedly a pleasure.   It is a joy.    A successful parent should know how to smile.     That will reduce the stress and pain of the child.     As it grows into adolescent stage, the skills of the parents should be developed further.     They should know more about the physique, the psychology and mental development of the child.

            It should be remembered that the requisites of  an effective parent are dedication, attention, love and constant denial of easily administering swift punishment. Though parenting is time consuming, the fruits are very attractive.     The future generation and its success depends on the effective, successful and cheerful parents of today to a great extent.

END NOTES

1.        Author’s personal experience

2.        Ibid.

3.        http://www. raisingkids. co. uk 10. 14. 2008

Wanna save money? Making homemade baby wipes takes just a few minutes of work and save loads of money. Here’s the money saving recipe:

Take 1 roll of premium paper towels and cut in half (width wise) using a sharp knife. Cheap, thin paper towels will rip easily. I recommend making your cloth wipes 1/2 a roll at a time, but if you have more than one child or feel like half a roll doesn’t last as long as you would like, use both halves.

When making: (1) 1/2 roll

1 cup Water 1 Tablespoon baby wash, shampoo or soap shavings * 1/2-1 Tablespoon baby oil or olive oil (preferably organic)**

When making: (2) 1/2 rolls

2 cups Water 2 Tablespoon baby wash, shampoo or soap shavings * 1-2 Tablespoon baby oil or olive oil (preferably organic)**

*Look for chemical-free products. My first choice is Earth Mama Angel Baby Shampoo & Body Wash and Earth Mama Angel Baby Diaper Rash Soap.

**Again, check the labels! My first choice is Earth Mama Angel Baby Baby Oil.

To make the wipes:

1. Mix all the liquid ingredients together. 2. Put paper towels in a large mixing bowl, and pour the mixed liquid over the top of the paper towels. 3. Let the mixture soak through for approximately 10 minutes. 4. Turn paper towels upside down and allow to sit for another 10 minutes. 5. Pull out the center cardboard core and the wipes will pop up through the middle of the roll. 6. Store your homemade wipes in a gallon-size plastic bag, plastic storage container with a lid, or re-use an old disposable wipes container.

For extra savings and to promote a greener Earth, try using cloth diaper wipes. Just soak the cloth wipes in the above mixture, roll up the wipe, and place in a container, gallon-size plastic bag, or a wipe warmer made especially for homemade baby wipes.

Another option is to place the above mixture into a spray bottle and spray directly on your baby’s tushie. Gently pat dry with a moisten wash cloth or cloth wipe.

Hope your baby’s bottom comes out clean, smooth and soft while saving you $$$!

Whether you’re expecting your first child or your kids are grown and on their own, being a dad is a new experience.   When my wife was pregnant, we decided to have a homebirth.   We hired a doula and two midwives.   I won’t tell you how much it cost.   According to them and other experts, labor was going to last 10-12 hours.   My son had other plans.   My wife’s labor was so short that the only other person in the room when he was born was – guess who? – me.   After nine months of preparing to support my wife in the birth of my first child, there I was, with no medical training, serving as midwife, doula, and doctor.   I fought off the strong desire to run out of the room as fast as possible.   When I caught Joaquin, I experienced pure exhilaration and love.

After only 2 days into Joaquin’s life, I told my wife, “it’s amazing how something so little can make me feel so inadequate. ”  For the next few months, I experienced periods of intense anxiety.   Realizing that I needed to grow just as Joaquin was growing, I started looking for resources to support me in what was sure to be an emotional journey.   To my dismay, I found very little.   Sure, there are father’s advocacy groups and organizations dedicated to maintaining the traditional family structure, but as for resources that addressed the personal development of fatherhood – nothing.   This was a sharp contrast to the wealth of resources for moms.   I found magazines, support groups, books, blogs, and newspaper articles for new and expectant mothers.   What I found for dads was mostly re-packaged how-to guides originally directed to mothers.

Even as a new father, I recognized that failure to acknowledge the inner work that must accompany fatherhood could have dire consequences on my personal and family life.   This is not, of course, a new idea.   In a recent article in Newsweek, a father shared that his wife had to parent him as much as his children, which led to a painful divorce.   My own father told my mother that he wasn’t ready to be a father after I was born.   If we fail to understand, acknowledge, and do something about the emotional challenges that we experience as fathers, we run the risk of alienating our partners, our children, and, most of all, ourselves.   We may end up leaving our loved ones and our emotional well-being behind.   The logistical aspects of fatherhood aren’t what tear families apart through neglect and divorce.   No father ever abandoned his child because he couldn’t figure out how to change a diaper.

The path of fatherhood has never been more rich or challenging.   Provision of shelter and food are no longer acceptable as the standard by which fathers are measured.   Our children, our partners, and our own innate intelligence dare us to be more – to be nurturers, companions, guides, and counselors.   The dramatic increase in stay at home dads proves that the model of fatherhood is changing rapidly for the better.   The fatherhood paradigm shift should not be underestimated.   Without recognition that change requires inner work, we run the risk of missing out on all the opportunities that fatherhood provides to become a better man, a better partner, and a better global citizen.   A fellow new dad once told me that fatherhood was wonderful because it burns up all of your bad habits.   I don’t know if I’ll ever shed all of my negative patterns, but I know that I owe it to myself and my son to be as available as possible both emotionally and physically.   If I don’t, I might just give in to the urge to run out of the room the next time he decides to do something wonderfully unexpected.

Mothers have a lot of power over their children. The adult children who are quick to argue, “My mother has no control or influence over me” are usually the ones who are being controlled without knowing it. You see, the sneakiest way to control someone, is to do it without them suspecting that you are doing it. Take for instance, your mother wants you to come over to her home for a family event and you tell her that you won’t be able to attend. If she has asked you early enough in advance of the event date, she will use the time leading up to the family gathering wisely. During that time she will come up with all sorts of reasons why you should attend and may even use other family members to try to convince you why it’s a good idea. She may try any or all of the following strategies to ultimately get what she wants! She will also use the following tactics in time of need, personal crisis, when she isn’t getting along with others, attention, feeling jealous and more.
One. She will be very critical of your decision making even when you are doing well for yourself.
This strategy is a popular one used by controlling mothers when they see their child is no longer their little baby and has become a man or woman looking to distance themselves from mom. She may also use this strategy to control her son or daughter’s friends too! Here’s what she may do. First, she thinks that you don’t know how to solve your own dilemmas because her mind takes her back to those days of childhood when you made mistakes. Rather than allow you to make your own decisions, she makes them for you or finds so much fault with what you’re saying that you walk away from her not trusting yourself. Second, she knows that if you don’t trust yourself, you will think about what she has said and most likely you will run it by your friends who she is hoping will say, “Listen to your mother. ”
The only way out of this strategy is to stand up for yourself at the moment that you suspect she is trying to influence your decision or alter your plans. Depending on the kind of mother you have, you will either have to present yourself confident, like a tough cookie hard to crack or like a very polite manager in a store resolving a customer’s concern. Whatever face you put forward, just be sure it’s one that clearly states that you will be making XYZ decision. Remind yourself not to ask her for her input or bring up a topic in the future that you know you will feel compelled to defend.
Two. She will try to make you feel guilty about not visiting her enough.
A mother has moments in her day when she thinks about what her children are doing. She may reach out to her children or she may wait for you to reach out to her. If you don’t act in a timely fashion according to her watch, she may tell you how good or bad of a son or daughter you are for not visiting your mother. She may compare you to other siblings and people who she knows or has seen on TV.
Three. She will act forgetful.
Some mothers aren’t satisfied with a simple visit from her children. Sometimes they feel like the visit isn’t complete without giving them something to do. Maybe there is nothing that needs to be done in her home and she just wants you to stay awhile longer. Some mothers will resort to the old tactic of forgetting where they placed something. Now there are those mothers that with age do become increasingly more absentminded, but if you see your mother often forgetting things just when you are ready to pack up the grandchildren and get ready to leave, then you know your mother is looking for a reason to control your time with her. She wasn’t ready to see you go and now she has to figure out a way to keep you a little while longer. Other things she may do is drag out a story, create a sudden emergency (like fake an illness), convince the grandchildren to stay even when they don’t want to, and offer plenty of food and desserts while stressing you should stay a little while longer.
A good way to shorten the visit is to sit back and let the children get a little out of control. A mother who is especially particular about her environment will be more than happy to see you go she may even open the door for you. Another way to shorten the visit is to have someone waiting for you in the car or have another engagement to go to after visiting her. If she is the kind of mother that likes to gossip or be critical of others, you can easily shorten your visit with her by mentioning that you don’t agree with her comments or would like to change the subject. A controlling mother doesn’t like the idea that her child is correcting her and rather than deal with the quiet tension that is left after you have told her how you feel, she will be at peace when you get ready to leave.
Four. She will exaggerate the details of small issues to play on one’s sympathies and to get them to act on her needs.
If your mother has been ill one too many times in a week let alone a day, and you haven’t bothered to visit her in the past, then prepare yourself for her stories of having to crawl around the house and struggle to bathe herself. You may learn later that she just had a simple cold and was seen out and about the same day walking around. Of course there are some mothers, who don’t cry “wolf,” but there are some who never saw a wolf but they will make up a story so that you can come over to visit or do something for them. What better way to get you to do as she says, by playing on your emotions? The best way to determine if there really is a “wolf” of a problem is to talk to her on the phone as if you never heard her say that she wasn’t feeling well. Start a discussion about something funny the children said, mention something you saw on television, and other similar things. Before long, she won’t be keeping her act up, she will be laughing and then you will notice that her situation wasn’t important enough for you to drop everything. Another way you can avoid “the drop and run act” is to tell her that you won’t be over and that she should call 911. It may sound cold, but if she has to get someone else involved and doesn’t want to, how serious was her issue in the first place?
Five. She will create division between siblings by showing favoritism.
What better way to get you to do something is to make you jealous? So she will throw a party for your brother, buy your sister’s children the best toys, and accept an invite to an event with another relative that you originally invited her to, don’t fear there are plenty of holidays and events that you can always schedule to be busy, out of town, or simply at home relaxing in front of your TV. It will only be a matter of time that she will notice you aren’t affected by her schemes, even if you are you won’t show it. You may even want to spend more time with these people than she does and you might learn a thing or two from them.
Six. She will treat friends and strangers better than certain family members while talking badly about her family to these same people.
When you don’t do what your mother says, she knows that she can’t punish you the way she did when you were a child, so one of the most hurtful things she will do is treat the people you know better than you. She will invite them up to her home, make dinner for them, ride in their car, attend events together, and may say things like, “This is my adopted son. She was always like a daughter to me. ” All of these tactics are used to get you to feel jealous and do more for your mother.
You can avoid feeling hurt by these tactics by accepting the fact that she isn’t a very nice person despite the fact that she is your mother. You can distance yourself from her by establishing healthy associations that she knows nothing about. You can crowd her out by keeping busy with your personal and professional goals. She may notice your behavior has changed toward her and come back around, but if she doesn’t, keep your distance and lose the friend who is naively falling for her act even after you have warned him or her.
Seven. She will lie, belittle or abuse you.
Some people forget that just because someone is a mother it doesn’t mean that she will lie, belittle or abuse you. This type of negative behavior coming from a mother is deadly! She may blatantly lie about forgetting where she has placed something to get you to come see about her. She may call you names or become easily irritated with you when you remind her that you have a partner and children. She may purposely cut you off of any material wealth so that you will dance by her drum. If you don’t want to be subjected to these tactics, expose her when she does them. Don’t sit quietly and ignore her when you know she is in the wrong. Try to avoid the temptation to pay her back that will only make you look like the bad guy or gal and give her something to talk about to the rest of the family.

According to official statistics, corporations in United States loose as much as $3 billion every year due to child care related absences. As such, there is definite need for companies to adjust own work conditions to the needs of skilled employees. At the present moment, businesses use such benefits as flexible schedule, possible leaves of absence, work at home and part time arrangements, as well as offer assistance in obtaining high quality child care. Such policies are beneficial for both employees and the companies themselves, as women get an opportunity to feel more secure about their children’s safety, whereas the company increases own productivity, employee job satisfaction, and, as a consequence, customer loyalty. Even though the perspective is not new, relatively few companies employ such a policy. This solution would allow economic efficiency, as child care services would be offered on a large scale, so economy would be realized on high volume operations. At the same time, it would also positively contribute to the quality of services provided and raise the level of certainty among mothers. It should be further pointed out, that single women most likely would not be the primary beneficiaries from this solution, as child care costs would proportionately raise for companies who employ single mothers. As such, child care options offered by employees should be combined with the governmental policy that would either provide subsidies to companies with high number of single mothers in the labor force, or would establish a definite number of single mothers to be employed for a company.

A child care alternative provided by a company could be implemented in the form of an on site facility. They can be located either directly within the territory of a company or in a child care center located nearby. On cite facilities are the most advantageous for employees, but at the same time are very costly for employers. As such, when choosing to introduce a child care on site facility a company should consider specific parental needs, employee need and commitment, the type of a program as well as the range of the services in order to establish the approximate cost of it. As normally a company would have a number of employees with different needs for child care services, an on site facility by itself would resolve the problem of child care needs, but rather should be combined with other programs offered by employees.

Flexible benefits and spending options could also be introduced as part of the solution to child care problems of single mothers. Benefits received by mothers and employees who do not need child care services could be adjusted to their current needs within a budget established by a company. This option is not costly for employers, but allows flexibility in spending for employees. This policy is also the easiest to implement.

Flexible benefits and spending options for single parents could be combined with referral services that can be a valuable source of information and educational material for parents. By contacting information centers on available child care services in the local area, a child care administrator either full time of part time could provide consultation and advice. This solution raises the level of education among mothers as well as improves the quality of services provided, and, when being combined with flexible benefits and spending options, allows saving on child care expenditures through flexible budgeting.

A child care consortium could also be a solution to the problem, as it allows cost minimization through better allocation of child care costs and raises the quality of services provided. Consortium of firms is organized by joined efforts of several companies, that join together to open an off site facility. As the number of children with similar needs would rise as a result of joined efforts of several companies, this would allow better delivery of services based on the age of children. This solution is flexible, economic, and might be difficult to manage, as there would be a need to develop a single policy for several companies.

If Toys ‘R Us is a company that offers various toys for kids, what does Baby R Us offer? No way! It’s not babies! Baby R Us offers baby products.

In 1996, Westbury, New York, Baby R Us opened its first store. It has been immediately followed with opening six more branches on different locations at the end of the year. After tremendous expansion and joining the Baby Superstore chain, Baby R Us store count has reach 218 at the beginning of 2005. What a mammoth feat for a baby store, right?

Babies R Us is considered a pioneer in retailing premier baby products. It is said to be the biggest store chain in the world that provides baby products. They have stores and online stores that assist in giving a unique and fun shopping experience for their consumers. It has a state-of-the-art baby registry service that provides more convenience when shopping for your baby’s needs. Baby R Us also has a Mother’s room that attends to babies’ necessities.

It has an online store that contains various helpful features that include the following:

The Baby Registry service is a product of Babies R Us teaming up with Amazon. com. Parents that are expecting their baby are permitted to create an online baby registry or update a registry that was set up on one of the Babies R Us stores nationwide. What this registry rids the parents is the inconvenience of surmounting geographic barriers and presumption of which products suit your baby. This way, when your friends and relatives plan to buy your baby a gift, it won’t be that much of a hassle anymore. All that they have to do is go online, select, buy and get the gift delivered to you on time. All the land-based Baby R Us stores allow all purchase returns as an added feature.

Baby R Us also constantly maintains a “Top Seller List” that usually include educational baby equipment, baby books, a pregnant mom’s book, diaper accessories, comfy baby bouncer, play gyms, baby call nursery monitors, a changing pad, monitors with dual receivers, an infant car seat base, baby wraps, toddler rockers, baby swings, nursery care kits, feeding bottle set, etc.

Baby R Us online store also allows browsers to check on different brands of baby products that suit their preferences. The following are the categories that Baby R Us provides various brands of products on: gear, activity, toys, nursery, health and safety, specialty stores, feeding, bath and potty, and clothing and layette.

Baby R Us also presents gift ideas to those who want to share some goodies to their little kids, nephews, nieces, granddaughter or grandsons. A gift set is always considered a hit in making parents with their babies smile with appreciation. These are often in baby gift basket forms that contain various items that deal with the parents and baby’s needs. There are also these “Parents Favorite” items and Babies R Us’ basic gift ideas that are never surmounted by novel items. Gift certificates are also available as treats to the parents-to-be. Baby R Us even added “new baby” or “pregnancy” e-card. Along with this e-card, the option of an e-mail or a paper gift certificate is still offered.

Babies R Us online even has this resource center page that includes various buying guides, checklists, articles, advices and other information that will both benefit the parents and the baby.

One of the most important influences a person can have early on in life and even onwards is the inspiration that comes from a father. This pivotal role is defined mainly by a father-child relationship and most often shapes the future of their offspring. Fatherhood carries with it a sense of great responsibility and accountability with fathers generally described as naturally protective and supportive to their families. The amount of interaction a father gives to his offspring has been proven to strengthen a child’s social stability, educational achievement and their potential for attaining strong marriages in adulthood. Such is the influence of a father’s love, guidance, presence and involvement. Sadly, this image of fatherhood has changed in recent years as many men have become less and less accepting of the roles, responsibilities and challenges of being a father. The male parental role has not only become distorted, but has also mutated into the different varieties that we now know them to be. So what is the true face of fatherhood? Where, if ever, can we find the transcendent image of a father?Self-published author Diane A. Sears answers these questions and more in her book, In Search of Fatherhood – Transcending Boundaries: International Conversations on Fatherhood. This collection of essays, from interviews of a group of men from diverse backgrounds and edited by Sears, explores the questions and issues directly and indirectly related to fatherhood that confront married, single, stay-at-home, long-distance, divorced, custodial, and non-custodial fathers. Sears also brings focus on the parental roles and responsibilities of fathers, as the concept of fatherhood has been redefined over the years. “Fatherhood is in crisis in today’s America, especially in the black community,” Dr. Hayward Farrar, a tenured Associate Professor of History at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University who reviewed Sears’ book, observed. “Since the 1960s fathers have been characterized as patriarchal, abusive, irresponsible, and absent. The courts increasingly view fathers as inherently unfit parents good only for a child support check. Tragically far too many fathers live meaningless without a strong family and community structure. Such structures are imperiled today. ”In Search of Fatherhood – Transcending Boundaries also highlights a call for divorced fathers to form a political movement to ensure equity in child custody and child support issues. Stephen Baskerville, in the book’s opening chapter – Father’s Rights are Father’s Duties – explains that fathers cannot secure their god-given rights to their children through individual action. He appeals to fathers to correct this situation through a broad-based movement modeled on the civil rights effort. In Search of Fatherhood – Transcending Boundaries: International Conversations on Fatherhood, published by Xlibris, is a must-have and must-read handbook on the nuances of modern-day fatherhood and, perhaps, a guide on how men can reclaim their influential role as fathers. About XlibrisXlibris was founded in 1997 and, as the leading publishing services provider for authors, has helped to publish more than 20,000 titles. Xlibris is based in Bloomington, IN and provides authors with direct and personal access to quality publication in hardcover, trade paperback, custom leather-bound, and full-color formats. For more information, please visit the book publishers website, e-mail pressrelease@xlibris. com or call at 1-888-795-4247, to receive a free publishing guide.

In this last article you were given seven manipulative and controlling strategies some mothers will come up with to get her son or daughter to do what they want. Some mothers may not want these tactics revealed because they have used them a long time and they work! However, if anyone (not just a mother) has to resort to such tactics to get her son or daughter to do something for them, then we can fairly assume that she doesn’t have a very good relationship with her children and she should sincerely seek help, find a better way to communicate her needs, or simply back off and let them do for her as they see fit and not the other way around. She may even need to consider finding someone else to tend to her needs if her children don’t. Seven additional tactics are as follows. This is part two of the first article.
Seven. Your mother, mother-in-law or stepmother may say things that you or someone else didn’t say to get attention.
Like a child, it doesn’t matter what kind of attention they want from their parents just so long as they can get you to look, your mother may be doing the same thing. Stories of robbery, conflicts with relatives and neighbors, and other similar “front page” news dramas fall quickly from her lips when she doesn’t want you to find out a truth about her. You see, if you know the truth, she fears you might not want to come around anymore, so sometimes to get negative attention off of her while gaining a positive image, she will try to get you to focus on someone else while she comes up with yet another scheme to control you.
The best way to counter against this tactic is to provide proof when she lies and remind her that you will not talk or come around her if she feels she has to disrespect you to get you to do what she wants.
Eight. She will argue or threaten.
Sometimes she may not have the energy to orchestrate a plan to get you to do what she wants so she will just yell at you. She may even call you a few names or threaten to do something to you if you don’t listen. You can avoid her future outburst by giving her a long time out and if she said or did some really bad things to you and your family, put your foot down and cut her off. Mothers like to talk about the biblical scriptures that say “Honor thy mother. . . ” Exodus 20:12 but what they fail to do is find the scripture that talks about “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,” Ephesians 6:1-4. ” There are some mothers who act in the role of fathers and do just that!
Nine. She will use others to influence you when she can’t get you to do what she wants (ie. partner, siblings, childhood friends, etc. )
She has enough time on her hands to converse with those that know you and she will tell them things like, “He never wants to be a part of the family. We use to be so close! His wife is causing him not to come around us anymore. Why don’t you call your brother and check up on him? Tell her I’m sick and need for her to come over and help me. ” What you can do is tell these people she has used to get you to act on her command to stop sending you her messages. Don’t open the doors to any debate with them about your actions, what your mother has been known to do, or anything else that could potentially cause a rift in your relationship. Rather, allow them to see your mother’s manipulative strategies on their own. However, with your partner you may want to be more specific about some of the things she does so that he or she isn’t blindsided.
Ten. She will cry.
Tears will bring a giant to his knees depending on how well they are used. She may get on her soapbox and put on her best act to get you to come over and cry with her until she breaks you down enough to get you to do what she wants. If you fall for it, then she wins and you lose. You can get her to dry those tears up even faster than saying yes, try saying no while walking away. Watch how her sad face becomes angry almost monster like.
Eleven. She will talk negatively behind your back to the biggest mouth in the family hoping he or she will spread your personal issues to everyone.
This tactic was mentioned earlier when it comes to siblings and strangers, but some mothers will use this when they know you are a private person. She thinks she can really get you to do as you’re told if she starts sharing your life with others. If she chooses to do this, you can tell her that you are aware of what she is doing and you would like for her to stop. She may continue to run her mouth, you have a choice either you keep giving her something to talk about or you cut the lines of communication off not only with her but those you know will go back and talk with her about you.
Twelve. She will offer small tokens of appreciation or give you money.
Sometimes being kind and expressing words of flattery is the best way for a mother to get what she wants from her son or daughter. So she suddenly becomes real nice and she wants to do a lot of wonderful things for you of course you have every right to question it. You may want to find out if she is doing anything to help her become a better person. If not, find out what she is hoping you will do for her in the coming days, weeks or months. What are her needs? Chances are she is getting you to commit to something by using sweet tactics without you knowing what that “something” is.
Thirteen. She will provide a little information to get you to open up and talk then later use the information you gave her to work to her advantage.
How can anyone turn down an opportunity to sit down and talk with his or her mother? It sounds innocent enough and you may go along with it. You are feeling comfortable and then gradually you start opening up to her about personal and professional issues. You walk away from that pleasant moment feeling great until the following week you hear that she was talking badly about you to others. She even mentioned how much food you ate and how you didn’t even bother to leave any money for her. Not only that, you find out that she has retold your conversation to a few choice family member s you simply don’t like. Could it be that this was her sneaky way to pay you back for putting your foot down a couple weeks back about something she said or did that offended you? It just might be. If so, you will definitely need to think twice about taking her up on offers to sit and dine with her.
Fourteen. She will turn your father against you.
Fathers are just as important as mothers, if not more, especially in father and son relationships. A son wants to know that his father is proud of him. But a mother who is looking to get some things done around the house on her time schedule or has some other needs that she isn’t receiving from her husband, will purposely say things to the father about the son or daughter that he or she knows will make him angry. Just when the father is becoming close to his daughter or son, here she comes reminding him of the time their child did “this” or did “that. ” In the mother’s mind, she feels that if she can keep the child close to her, she will be able to get the things done that she wants he or she to do; therefore, having her own personal servant.
In closing, there are good and bad mothers in this world and either one or the other is talked about in many books, talk shows and other places. But there is also the sneaky mother also known as controlling, manipulative, wicked, and other words that describe negative practices she uses to get what she wants. These are the mothers that can kill, steal, and destroy what makes you happy. Oftentimes these mothers aren’t happy themselves just claim to be. They usually don’t have much going in their lives other than talking on the phone about other people, they have very few true friends, and it seems just about every week they are in conflict with someone. What brings them joy in life is seeking the attention from their children in whatever way they can get it by any means necessary. When you know you have a mother such as this, try your best to always stand up for what you believe in, not what she believes. Also, try very hard not to rely on her for anything and if you can, move far away from her, and visit her when you want to, not because she says that you should. If you follow these tips you can lessen the burden on your heart and mind concerning your mother and give your partner’s and friend’s ears a break from your “my mother” stories!